Thinking of casting a vote for Butt Stuff this election season? You may be out of luck.
The Federal Commission vowed in a statement Thursday to crack down on filings for candidates that "appear to be unlawfully false or fictitious," effectively dooming the candidacies of such presidential hopefuls as Deez Nuts, COMMANDANT DOG EATING MANIACAL FISH BRAINED UGLY MOOSE LOOKALIKE FOOL THAT WILL BE ELECTED, and Anus the Goat.
"The new procedure comes in response to an increase this election cycle in the filing of registration and statement of candidacy forms (FEC Forms 1 and 2) that provide patently false candidate or treasurer names, questionable contact or bank information, or material that does not relate to campaign finance, such as drawings, essays and personal court records," the FEC explained.
Further, the FEC has authorized staff to send "verification letters" to filers that may have submitted a fictitious candidate for consideration, informing the filer, among other things, of the "potential penalties for false filings with a federal agency."
Candidates Jean-Luc Picard, Forrest Gump, and Beast Mode were unavailable for comment.